That's So Deep

E. 10 Our Complicated Relationship To Our Stuff - Part 1: Why do we hold on to stuff? Why can't we just let it go?

Phyllis and Julie Season 10 Episode 10

Hello So Deep Peeps!  

Welcome to That’s So Deep.  This is the podcast where we try to root out loneliness one conversation at a time.  This is a first in a series where we explore our complicated relationship to our stuff.  Today we are talking about why we hold on to stuff and why it is so hard to let it go. 

Some deep things we cover:

  1. Our Stuff Represents Memories: A loved one passing, a childhood memory, a time when you were happy.
  2. Our Stuff Represents A Past Identity or a Future Self: Someone you once were or someone you hope to be.
  3. Love Language of Gift Giving: Buying things for people is how you show and receive love. If you don't accept or keep the gifts then it shows disrespect and lack of gratitude.
  4. Culture of Consumption: We are immersed in stuff and it is hard to avoid.
  5. Money and Time: It is hard to face the money and time wasted on the things we bought.
  6. Regret and Failure: Each time we see an item we no longer use, we see our own failures and poor decision making.
  7. Not Wanting To Be Wasteful: Sometimes the things we have are perfectly usable even if they have been sitting on a shelf for 7 years so it feels wasteful to get rid of them.
  8. Decision Fatigue and Overwhelm: Our ability to make good decisions can deteriorate over time because there is just so much to sift through.  It is easier to just shove items back in the closet than to continue.

 Take-aways:

Understand the Deeper WHY: We aren’t asking you to get rid of the items that you are holding on to but we are asking you to ask the deeper why.  

  • Why are you holding on to these things?  
  • Are you holding on to a past identity? 
  • Do the items represent a fantasy self or a future self?  
  • Do your things hold your hopes and dreams?  
  • Are you not wanting to be wasteful?  
  • Is it hard for you to face the time and money that you have spent on these items and you can’t quite stomach the failure?  

Understanding the deeper why is the first step in figuring out how to let things go.  Once you understand the deeper why, then you can begin asking yourself if holding on to these things align with your Core Values.  If the items don’t fit into the life you are wanting to create for yourself, then maybe it is time to graciously let them go and make space for the abundance that awaits you.

 We want to have a conversation with you!

The whole point of this podcast is to facilitate and encourage deeper conversations and we want to hear from you! 

 Here is how you can reach us:

Voicemail: 805-288-0884

Email: sodeeppeeps@gmail.com

If you liked this podcast, you can FOLLOW, SUBSCRIBE or SHARE with a friend and if you don’t want to miss an episode, click that BELL so you can be notified right away when the next episode releases.  

We love you and we can’t wait for our next deep conversation!

Yours in Becoming, 

Phyllis & Julie

Resources and articles we referenced in the episode:

  1. Simply and Fiercely: https://www.simplyfiercely.com/blog/
  2. Mari Kondo: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing (The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up) 
  3. Maxwell Ryan: Apartment Therapy - Sample