That's So Deep

Hello! It's Phyllis and Julie! Welcome to That's So Deep! We created this podcast because we found ourselves craving deeper conversations and deeper relationships. We wanted a place where we could be real, feel it all, lift each other up, laugh, cry and grow together. If this sounds good to you, then come hang out with us! We know that your time and attention are valuable so we hope you come away feeling a little more known, a little more connected and a little less lonely. Love - Phyllis & Julie

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That's So Deep

E. 22 - Toxic Positivity

April 22, 2022 • Phyllis and Julie • Season 1 • Episode 22

Hello So Deep Peeps!
Welcome to That’s So Deep. This is the podcast where we try to root out loneliness one conversation at a time. We discuss topics that help us connect more deeply with ourselves and with those we care about because we believe that connection is the antidote to a lonely heart. Today we are talking about Toxic Positivity (based on the work by Susan David in Emotional Agility).

Some deep things we cover:

The “Everything Happens for a Reason” Mantra: In an effort to make people feel better with phrases like this one, we actually make people feel worse by trivializing their pain.
Myths and Truths about Unpleasant Emotions:
1. Myth: Unpleasant Emotions are Something to “Get Over.” If you’re not happy then you’re doing it wrong. Unpleasant emotions are an obstacle to perpetual joy.
2. Truth: Unpleasant Emotions Contain Beacons of Meaning. We are hardwired to feel unpleasant emotions. It is 100% human. Unpleasant emotions point us towards what we value most.
“Emotions are Information. They are NOT Directives.” - Susan David: Emotions don’t own you. You own them.
Ditch Bottling and Brooding. Embrace CURIOSITY. Getting curious is a healthy way to interact with your feelings. There is rich learning to be had when you ask why.

Take-aways:

Hold up there, Little Miss Sunshine: Allow space for folks who are feeling it without jumping in with our toxically positive statements. Be a good listener.
Feel It All but You ARE NOT the Feeling: Remember that emotions are information, not directives. You are in control and the feelings can help guide you.
Get Down to the Granular Level: The more specific you are, the more information you get about what you care about.

We want to have a conversation with you!

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Yours in Becoming,
Phyllis & Julie

Resources and articles we referenced in the episode: