E. 24 - Forgiveness: Why Forgive and Forget is NOT the Goal.

Hello So Deep Peeps!  

Welcome to That’s So Deep.  This is the podcast where we try to root out loneliness one conversation at a time. Today we are talking about Forgiveness: Why Forgive and Forget is NOT the Goal.

 Some deep things we cover:

1. Apologies and Forgiveness are not a Gift Exchange: They are separate processes that happen for people on their own time.  They take work, time and patience.
2. Forgiveness is the deliberate decision to release feelings of anger, resentment or vengeance.  Forgiveness is work that you do for yourself. It is a pathway to inner peace.
3. Forgive and Forget is not Possible: This saying seems to again highlight our society’s inability to process and integrate unpleasant emotions into our lives.  We need a new catchphrase!  Forgive and Integrate?  Forgive and Flourish?  Help!  
4. Can Forgiveness Be Just as Compelling as Revenge on TV? We see it in soap operas, in reality TV shows, in movies…why is revenge so compelling?  Forgiveness can be sexy too!  Forgiveness = The New Revenge?
5. Decision Based Forgiveness & Emotional Forgiveness: What is the difference?  
6. What are We Really Asking for When We Ask for Forgiveness?  
7. Apologizing and Forgiveness are Key Components of Healthy Relationship With Your Loved Ones: In a healthy relationship, we sometimes need to hold in tension our desire to reconnect and also give space for the other person’s process to forgive.

Take-aways:

1. Forgiveness is not a destination.  It is a journey.
2. Forgiveness is an internal pathway to peace.
3. Sometimes when you ask for forgiveness, you may not get it.

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We love you and we can’t wait for our next deep conversation!

Yours in Becoming, 

Phyllis & Julie

Resources and articles we referenced in the episode:

1. 5 Ways to Forgive People (Even Those Who Don't Apologize) | Savvy Psychologist
2. Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness - Mayo Clinic
3. Forgiveness | Psychology Today
4. What is Forgiveness? (+9 Science-Based Benefits)
5. What Really Feels Better, Forgiveness Or Revenge? New Research Has An Answer
6. Which Is More Empowering, Forgiveness or Revenge? | Psychology Today
7. Oprah Winfrey: FORGIVENESS - Oprah's Super Soul | Podcast on Spotify